14 Jun 2010

Can you feel my heartbeat?

This is me trying to escape from boredom the other day (Saturday, since it's already Monday). I wore my striped dress (with zippers on the sleeves) as a top with my black DIY high-waisted skirt; accessorized with black stockings, a blue patented belt and two different hats.

Honestly, having this little photo shoot by myself didn't really take my mind off things. Not doing anything makes me go insane. Thinking about certain topics that I should not be thinking off, worrying about problems that aren't even mine.. seriously. If summer vacation made me this way then it can go suck my invisible dick. But then again, I will miss it once school rolls by on Tuesday. Speaking of Tuesday, I'm feeling a little apprehensive about it. I still need to go to the bank but then it's still closed so FML.

Is it weird if I tell you that I miss my ex-boyfriend from five years ago? He was the nicest one. Plus the both of us were still a little bit hung up on each other three years after the break-up. You can say that we never really had a decent closure; we were both young when we got together (I was fourteen, he was fifteen), very immature and juvenile. We were only together for exactly three months and I still keep on wondering now what if I set my pride aside and gave it another shot? But the what ifs will remain what ifs. I will never, ever find out. See what this break from school is doing to me? Wondering about things from forever ago now which is not a good thing.
I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep.
-Andy Warhol
Moving on, I have been finally making use of my (hibernating) creative juices. They're still there, apparently, I just haven't paid much attention to it over the months. I was too busy dreaming of the waves of the sea, the bumming around (that I am now sick of), and hanging out with people (which I've only done for a quarter of my summer). And now that it's almost over, I have squeezed my brain to its extent and have decided to work on my art. Finally, I know! I remember mentioning that I'm a little bit confused with my future career as an artist; whether I should be a photographer, an illustrator, a graphic designer / web developer, or a fashion stylist. In the past days I tried to pick up inspiration from back issues of magazines (i.e Anthem, Nylon), also asking help from my mom who (I think) manages artists and is very, very much exposed in the art world. And so I have ventured. The result?

A self-portrait that I did during an excruciatingly hot morning in a bazaar where we had a booth.

Inspirations for future photoshoots.

Inspirations for illustrations / graphic design.

Experimenting with lighting.


The last one isn't finished yet. And I'm also working on graphic design (a personal project, obviously) right now. Maybe I'll post it in my deviantArt or Flickr when it's done with.

Anyway, I'm calling it a night. It's 3am and I have a lot of over-sleeping to do. Fin.

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