8 Dec 2008

Kiss and Make Up

December 06, 2008; Saturday is one of the best nights of my life. I saw him play for the first time. Funny how I was just biting my lips and trying to take decent pictures the whole time. But in truth, I just couldn't take my eyes off him. It was so hard for me to see him from that distance though, since their lead guitarist was sort of blocking my view. But I still did my best to watch him. I was so shy to stand up, there were people sitting down behind me. This was the first time we held hands and more in front of his friends. Hahaha! Yes, it was a great bonding experience for us too. He met David and they got along pretty well. So I'm happy, he's happy, everyone's happy. :)

Do you know that this is my first time to introduce someone (special) to my parents? As in officially telling my parents that we have an understanding? That's a really big step for me. Considering that I don't really let my parents have a dose of my private life. And now it's not so private anymore! It feels so good to just tell my parents "Ma, I'm going to Shang today with special someone, okay?" or "Pa, I'm going to Glorietta on Saturday to watch special someone play.. he has a gig." and they acutally let me! ANOTHER FIRST! Usually they don't.. if it's just the two of us. And I bring him to church as much as possible. Once, after the service, we ate McDonald's with my mom and then went to a friend's house.

I wouldn't tell you everything about our relationship. But I'm telling you, we're not yet official. It might take long though, but I'm willing to wait. Besides, I'm really doing my best to give him a hard time.. although I don't think it's working. I'm really having a hard time at it.

3 Dec 2008

Not too much of a "pleaser"

I've never cried this much since my mother threw my cellphone on the ground and kicked it. That was during summer, before school started. And last night I have experienced a kind of feeling that wasn't exactly the butterflies-in-my-stomach type. It was the exact opposite. And the fact that I cried myself to sleep because of a boy is just soooo nerve-racking. So, crying over a guy.. the last time I did was more than three years ago. And that was it.

Last night was a bit different. I cried a lot today, too. But I wouldn't want to go through all the gory details because I might cry again. Hearing his songs for me are enough to make me want to bawl. Ugh, I am such a big baby.

So much for that. Let's move on to something a bit more important (as if there's something more important to me than him).

School isn't exactly killing me, but it's not fun either. Honestly, second semester is boring. Unlike the first semester which was uber fun and I don't know why. But don't get me wrong here, I'm happy. Very happy. Because of him, of course. Even if we always fight. Wait, that's not the point. My feelings toward school is pretty satisfactory. Not too much excitement if you ask me. The only excitement I get is after all my classes when I sneak out and meet up with him.

I know that eventually, this post will be about him. So I better stop before I start missing him more than I already do.

1 Dec 2008

It IS Love

I just finished watching A Walk to Remember. My non-materialistic wishlist was very much tempting although I didn't see it with my special someone, I was with Gen and Nico. We watched it in the living room using the laptop. How I wish he was the one with me during that time. I wanted to ask so many questions (that are sadly related to the movie). Cheesy stuff and whatnots.

The first time I saw him, I already thought about something a little too advance.
Pag ito naging boyfriend ko, di ko na 'to pakakawalan.
He was wearing something that caught my attention the moment he stepped out (We were at the smoking area in the 6th floor of Shangri-La Mall). A blue football jersey, shorts, high socks and futsal shoes. Oh my goodness. At that moment it was just me and my weakness for football players. I was with Desi and Cassie.. we were waiting for Jobel and Ivan to arrive. Every puff I took from my cigarette, I would look at him to see if he's looking back, and every now and then I would catch him looking at me. But then, what do I know right? Maybe he just likes looking around and stuff. So yes, that was the first. The second time I saw him he was with his girlfriend at the moment. I was a bit disappointed of course, but I thought I'd never meet him anyway so what's the point of wallowing in self pity? He was wearing these nice shoes.. Adidas Centennials. So that's another plus. Hahaha then I found out he knew my twin. And I sort of stalked him in my twin's multiply. It's insane I know, but there was something that made me not let go of this crush so easily. After that, whenever I would go out, I couldn't look around. Especially when it's a Friday because I always have this feeling that someone's watching over me. So yes, that's why I don't usually see him.

Then college came, met new people, had new friends. It was great, everything was going well. When one day came, I was invited to go to Cubao by a new close friend, Kookoo. So yes, we went to the ukays then to Shang so that we could meet up with their other friends. She invited me to come with them to the bible study they were going to attend. Immediately, I told my mom and she agreed with no hesitation (basta talaga bible study okay sa kanya). So their friends arrived and we went to UAP to meet up with MORE of their friends. And after a few minutes.. HE WAS THERE. Holy crap, imagine my heart pumping three times faster when I saw him look at me. Good thing I managed to pull off a nervous smile. We were introduced by a common friend (his best friend who is also my schoolmate! Super small world!) and I asked him if he was an acquaintance's bandmate. He said yes and asked me how I knew her, so I told him it was through my twin. Loads of thanks to her. ;)) The day ended nicely. It was definitely memorable.

Weeks have passed and all of a sudden, HE viewed my multiply. So I viewed him back, and he viewed me again. So I just decided to add him.. nothing wrong with it, right? So there, after a week or so, he sent me a PM! A PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was seeking advice regarding which camera to get yadda yadda, so I told him that blahblahblah.. And before we knew it we were already conversing. Then we saw each other in UST.. he was with his best friend. Kuhaan kasi ng clearance. So there, hi-hello lang. Then after that, he told me to just add him in Y!M and I did. Edi chat-chat na ganon.. until he lost his phone. Haha :)) He asked for my number. And I actually thought he was on Sun so I told him I'm a Globe subscriber. He said it was okay and that he has a Globe sim. So yes.. we would regularly text each other, and we eventually got closer. He's been very nice, caring and sweet. And mind you, I did my best not to give in since he has a girlfriend *sigh*.

One night we were engaged in this hooking conversation. He told me he has a crush on someone for almost one year already. And that she's the number one in his life. I asked him who the girl is but he wouldn't tell me. But he would always tell me he misses her and stuff.. So I asked for clues. I was a bit jealous sure, but still, I tried to be a good friend to him if not something more. He told me she was sweet, caring and really nice. That she never left him hanging and stuff. I had a great clue on who she was (me! HAHA) but I tried not to think that I was the girl. Haha, I don't want to expect, of course. But I had this huge feeling it was me anyway. Then it was my turn to tell stories, I told him a similar story. He was trying to guess who the guy was and OH BOY HE ONLY HAD TO CHOOSE AMONG OF HIS FRIENDS. So I was intenesly nervous. Hahahahaha I tried not to say out loud it was him. But yes, he still got it. HIM. :)) He said it was BS and stuff. So I asked him who his crush was since it was a part of the deal (if I tell him mine, he's going to tell me his). And he gave this clue: her name starts with the letter "A" and ends with an "E". Kamusta naman yung kilig ko diba? Naguumapaw lang naman! And yes, that was it.. he likes me, I like him. And there was nothing wrong with it, right? Since it was only a crush.

Later on, he confided that his relationship with his girlfriend wasn't very good anymore. And as a friend, I told him that he should just do what would make him happy and be selfish just this once. Until we started hanging out, and doing couple-ish stuff. And then they broke up. And we fell for each other. I didn't want to take his ex's place though.. I think it's rude. Kaka-break lang nila tapos may kapalit agad sya. How would she feel right? So we tried to keep our relationship low-key.

And now it's been a month since we told each other about how we felt. My feelings for him are stronger. I love him to death. :) And I just know we are meant to be. Everything is perfect for the both of us. My parents know, by the way. It's my first time to be this open with them. I would bring him to our house, we would hang out with my parents. We're all cool about this. My dad just wants me to be responsible. Believe me, I'm trying.

Anything for him. ;)